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BlisterDick
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Weird Stories from Your Childhood

My Grandpa loved his peaches.

He had a peach tree. Next to that was a lemon tree. There was a fake rubber snake that hung from that lemon tree. And next to that, an orange tree. All of this sat behind a small grove of avocado trees.

We kids loved the avocado trees. They gave us avocados for cool and creamy guacamole on numerous summer evenings. My grandmother loved the orange tree. It gave her oranges for freshly squeezed orange juice every morning.

My Grandpa loved his peach tree. It gave him peaches for strength and stamina when he would rape my baby sister every night after dinner.

My Grandpa loved his peaches.
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Old 09-24-2018, 11:34 PM BlisterDick is offline  
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Jas101
 
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i dont get the rubber snake reference
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Old 09-24-2018, 11:57 PM Jas101 is offline  
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Baloneyflaps.
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Quote:
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i dont get the rubber snake reference



derp

it's obviously a reference to the garden of eden
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Old 09-25-2018, 03:56 AM Baloneyflaps. is offline  
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Jas101
 
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or they used it to scare away birds. snakes have the same effect on birds like cucumbers have on cats.
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Old 09-25-2018, 05:53 AM Jas101 is offline  
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Jas101
 
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im still a bit confused
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Jeff - Anyone got any midget porn? Its for a friend.
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Old 09-25-2018, 05:54 AM Jas101 is offline  
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BlisterDick
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it was a real fake rubber snake

there, mystery solved
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Old 09-25-2018, 05:59 AM BlisterDick is offline  
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Baloneyflaps.
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AND IT WAS A LEMON TREE!!!
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Old 09-25-2018, 08:01 AM Baloneyflaps. is offline  
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Baloneyflaps.
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and I'm tempted to look up "cucumbers on cats" but I know I shouldn't

Is cucumber cat kryptonite?
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Old 09-25-2018, 08:07 AM Baloneyflaps. is offline  
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aoeoae
 
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too much viglink
Old 09-25-2018, 08:59 AM aoeoae is offline  
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lol
 
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they called again trying to sell me chronic back pain

I pressed 1 to get connected with an operator and he asked if I had chronic back, knee or joint pain, and I asked him what that was, and he hung up on me.
Old 09-25-2018, 10:40 AM lol is offline  
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like why can't you even explain what my symptoms might be who knows maybe I want to buy some snake oil
Old 09-25-2018, 10:41 AM lol is offline  
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Jas101
 
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Originally Posted by Baloneyflaps View Post
and I'm tempted to look up "cucumbers on cats" but I know I shouldn't

Is cucumber cat kryptonite?

cats drinking from bowl, owner quietly pits cumcumber behind cat, cat sees it and jumps 3 feet in the air.

its only sexy if youre into flying cat porn.
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Jeff - Anyone got any midget porn? Its for a friend.
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Old 09-26-2018, 10:08 AM Jas101 is offline  
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Baloneyflaps.
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Quote:
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cats drinking from bowl, owner quietly pits cumcumber behind cat, cat sees it and jumps 3 feet in the air.

its only sexy if youre into flying cat porn.


lol now I remember that... and I looked it up. There are for worse ways to spend a minute on the internet. The wife and I chuckled.

In related news: Multinational Consortium of Scientists and Research Institutions Launched to Study Anti-Gravity Ability of Cats
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Old 09-26-2018, 06:26 PM Baloneyflaps. is offline  
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like why can't you even explain what my symptoms might be who knows maybe I want to buy some snake oil

Your symptoms are you smoked too much chronic and fell down and hurt your back
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Old 09-26-2018, 08:58 PM voidme is offline  
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lol
 
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Your symptoms are you smoked too much chronic and fell down and hurt your back

alight i can see that now what service do you fine gentlemen offer
Old 09-27-2018, 11:52 AM lol is offline  
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