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Dunkirk101
 
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Joke of the Day

A Mexican maid asked her boss for a pay increase.

Her boss was anoyed at this and asked, 'Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?'

Maria: 'Well, Senora, there are three reasons why I want an increase... The first is that I iron better than you.'

Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me?'

Maria: 'Your husband said so.'

Wife: 'Oh.'

Maria: 'The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.'

Wife: 'Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?'

Maria: 'Your husband did.'

Wife: 'Oh.'

Maria: 'My third reason is that I am a better lover than you..'

Wife (really furious now): 'Did my husband say that as well?'

Maria: 'No Senora, the pool boy did.'

Wife: (now embarrassed) 'So umm, how much do you want?'
Old 08-16-2018, 10:40 AM Dunkirk101 is offline  
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lol
 
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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
Old 08-16-2018, 04:00 PM lol is offline  
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Baloneyflaps.
Baloneyflaps
My dick: more mass than the earth
 
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Got a pocket full of funky with a peppermint twist
She’s a cool, shifty mama blastin’ off on the flip
iridescent pork belly galactic super train
mama sister playground with a straw daddy cane

Gotta get it up
Gotta get it on
Gotta get it down
Gotta make it strong

Got that quick dip crayon earthquake jet pack on a bun
Locomotive supernova Spanish Harlem sun (yeah)
Slick crawfish solar blast with a phosphorescent brain
Who’s that mama squat town? Deep fried Detroit soda train


Gotta shake it up
Gotta move it in
Gotta put it down
Gotta make it swim

Nebulatic comets sanitation disease
quick play tornado rip and tickle beef sneeze
Ships planets justice cannons, cables and trees
Doctor’s office penguin shillings, railroads and peas
I said crippled donkey mel brooks book train bats on my knees

penicillin trapdoor laser currency beans
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Old 08-16-2018, 07:02 PM Baloneyflaps. is offline  
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BlisterDick
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Joke of the Day

OP
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Old 08-16-2018, 08:10 PM BlisterDick is offline  
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voidme
 
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How many misanthrope's does it take to screw in a light bulb?





None they just tell the light bulb to go screw itself
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Old 08-17-2018, 12:29 PM voidme is offline  
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voidme
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lol View Post
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

++
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Old 08-17-2018, 12:29 PM voidme is offline  
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BlisterDick
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lol View Post
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

WHY are you eating shoes?
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Old 08-18-2018, 03:00 AM BlisterDick is offline  
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